Secrets In The Hot Spring (2018)
On the one hand I feel genuinely baffled by this Taiwanese comedy horror, and on the other I kinda got what I should have expected. Secrets In The Hot Springs, henceforth referred to as Secrets, is a comedy horror from first time director/writer Kuan-Hui Lin and its sort of weird (I'm going to be saying that a lot). It's a film full of style, laughs and is packed with perhaps just a little too much cheese, with a few shortcomings that make it hard to recommend.
I didn't know anything before going into this film; in fact I was under the impression that I was going to hate this film and give it a scathing review. Searching for obscure films on Netflix is becoming easier and easier, and finding the naff looking ones is no longer a chore. And so when I saw Secrets sitting there, with the cheesy Netflix music layered over its confusing sequence of shots used to advertise it to the unsuspecting viewer, I sort of had to watch it. Secrets is one of the most bizarre films I've seen in a while, and not because of its plot, or its surreal style, but because it feels so weirdly out of place as a film.
Secrets is about a guy named Qie Xiaogin (Ting-hu Zhang, Age of Rebellion) who has transferred to his third school. There he meets the often uncomfortably camp Little Princess (Sing Hom, Love Cuisine) and the bucktooth (quite literally his only defining trait) loser Lu Qun (He-Hsuan Li, HIStory). The three of them are bullied by students at their school so they run away to Qie's grandparents hotel for the winter holidays, only to discover its haunted. You'd think from my rather botched description that the plot is as standard as it gets, or at least pretty basic, but from the get go this film is really bizarre.
And that's all really down to its style. Secrets is fast paced, at least for the first hour or so, and is edited in a way to match that. The film features several jump cuts in the same shot, like a YouTube vlog, and has some pretty surreal moments. One scene around the midway point of the film has the main character cursing (which I assume meant swearing and not turning them both into frogs) at his grandparents. The scene is shot in slow motion while classical music plays and the events that follow, the granddad having a heart attack, the bucktooth friend smiling and putting his thumb up, the close up zooms of each character, are all just weird. I feel like I'm saying "weird" and "bizarre" a lot, but really the film deserves it. And it works! It really does. It doesn't ever feel forced, mainly because the humour is so slapstick and silly. All these elements really come together and make this a strange first hour or so.
But there is an issue here. All of this works, like I said, for the first hour. But it gets tiring quick and you quickly forget what on earth the characters are supposed to be doing. The film lasts around 1 hour and 40 minutes and really would have benefited from losing around 20 of those minutes. Its not that the film feels too long, it doesn't, and by the end the narrative and hilarity picks up. It just quickly loses sight of whats going on, and frankly what is important, prioritising its high-jinks over a coherent narrative. However, this is really only during a sluggish twenty minutes, and the rest of the film is genuinely enjoyable.
Another problem with the film is its music and its scares. This film is not scary at all, which honestly suits me best. It gave me time to enjoy the comedy and not feel on edge every second of the film. But because it lacks any real scares the film uses the most stock horror music I've ever heard in my entire life to ramp up the atmosphere. The music in this film is reminiscent of YouTube horror videos, that cheesy violin build up that lost all tension about three hundred films ago. On top of that there are a few loud violin screeches like someone didn't realise they were recording and just went to town on his violin. It does add to the overall weird feeling of the film, if you see the film as some meta deconstruction of horror films (not entirely sure that's what they were going for), but its laughable (in a bad way) and honestly feels a little lacklustre and straight up lazy.
There is one other thing to complain about though. Often, in a film like this with such silly humour and an odd style I'd not bother to comment on the characters. But the way the characters are handled is just not good. The main culprit is Little Princess, who I previously referred to as being uncomfortably camp. The issue here is the way they treat the campiness of the character. He gets picked on for it, but there never really seems to be a redemption arc for him, and the insults just sit there and stay. It even gets to the end and *spoilers*....... he's not actually gay, but in fact in love with a very boyish girl *end of spoilers*. Its odd because the whole film has this very homoerotic atmosphere, but goes nowhere with it and often seems to ridicule it. It often made me uncomfortable because I couldn't discern whether or not the film was supportive of its gay character or against him.
Secrets In The Hot Spring is weird stylistically, in its narrative and in its opinions towards homosexuality (not really something I was expecting from a Taiwanese comedy horror but okay.) Normally I would feel pretty comfortable recommending it because its genuinely a funny, well made and pretty unique experience, however its short comings make this hard. If you are fine with seeing what may (or may not I am still unsure) be some homophobic attitudes then you should watch this. If not, then this I'm afraid might not be the film for you.
5/10
I didn't know anything before going into this film; in fact I was under the impression that I was going to hate this film and give it a scathing review. Searching for obscure films on Netflix is becoming easier and easier, and finding the naff looking ones is no longer a chore. And so when I saw Secrets sitting there, with the cheesy Netflix music layered over its confusing sequence of shots used to advertise it to the unsuspecting viewer, I sort of had to watch it. Secrets is one of the most bizarre films I've seen in a while, and not because of its plot, or its surreal style, but because it feels so weirdly out of place as a film.
Secrets is about a guy named Qie Xiaogin (Ting-hu Zhang, Age of Rebellion) who has transferred to his third school. There he meets the often uncomfortably camp Little Princess (Sing Hom, Love Cuisine) and the bucktooth (quite literally his only defining trait) loser Lu Qun (He-Hsuan Li, HIStory). The three of them are bullied by students at their school so they run away to Qie's grandparents hotel for the winter holidays, only to discover its haunted. You'd think from my rather botched description that the plot is as standard as it gets, or at least pretty basic, but from the get go this film is really bizarre.
And that's all really down to its style. Secrets is fast paced, at least for the first hour or so, and is edited in a way to match that. The film features several jump cuts in the same shot, like a YouTube vlog, and has some pretty surreal moments. One scene around the midway point of the film has the main character cursing (which I assume meant swearing and not turning them both into frogs) at his grandparents. The scene is shot in slow motion while classical music plays and the events that follow, the granddad having a heart attack, the bucktooth friend smiling and putting his thumb up, the close up zooms of each character, are all just weird. I feel like I'm saying "weird" and "bizarre" a lot, but really the film deserves it. And it works! It really does. It doesn't ever feel forced, mainly because the humour is so slapstick and silly. All these elements really come together and make this a strange first hour or so.
But there is an issue here. All of this works, like I said, for the first hour. But it gets tiring quick and you quickly forget what on earth the characters are supposed to be doing. The film lasts around 1 hour and 40 minutes and really would have benefited from losing around 20 of those minutes. Its not that the film feels too long, it doesn't, and by the end the narrative and hilarity picks up. It just quickly loses sight of whats going on, and frankly what is important, prioritising its high-jinks over a coherent narrative. However, this is really only during a sluggish twenty minutes, and the rest of the film is genuinely enjoyable.
Another problem with the film is its music and its scares. This film is not scary at all, which honestly suits me best. It gave me time to enjoy the comedy and not feel on edge every second of the film. But because it lacks any real scares the film uses the most stock horror music I've ever heard in my entire life to ramp up the atmosphere. The music in this film is reminiscent of YouTube horror videos, that cheesy violin build up that lost all tension about three hundred films ago. On top of that there are a few loud violin screeches like someone didn't realise they were recording and just went to town on his violin. It does add to the overall weird feeling of the film, if you see the film as some meta deconstruction of horror films (not entirely sure that's what they were going for), but its laughable (in a bad way) and honestly feels a little lacklustre and straight up lazy.
There is one other thing to complain about though. Often, in a film like this with such silly humour and an odd style I'd not bother to comment on the characters. But the way the characters are handled is just not good. The main culprit is Little Princess, who I previously referred to as being uncomfortably camp. The issue here is the way they treat the campiness of the character. He gets picked on for it, but there never really seems to be a redemption arc for him, and the insults just sit there and stay. It even gets to the end and *spoilers*....... he's not actually gay, but in fact in love with a very boyish girl *end of spoilers*. Its odd because the whole film has this very homoerotic atmosphere, but goes nowhere with it and often seems to ridicule it. It often made me uncomfortable because I couldn't discern whether or not the film was supportive of its gay character or against him.
Secrets In The Hot Spring is weird stylistically, in its narrative and in its opinions towards homosexuality (not really something I was expecting from a Taiwanese comedy horror but okay.) Normally I would feel pretty comfortable recommending it because its genuinely a funny, well made and pretty unique experience, however its short comings make this hard. If you are fine with seeing what may (or may not I am still unsure) be some homophobic attitudes then you should watch this. If not, then this I'm afraid might not be the film for you.
5/10
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