Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back - Evolution (2019)
When I was a kid, we had this triple pack of Pokémon DVDs, which was great, because as a kid I loved Pokémon. The catch was, and it was a pretty big catch, all three DVDs were in French, which would be no biggie if there were English subtitles - there weren't. The thing is, I distinctly remember enjoying the incomprehensible (as a kid I spoke and understood very little french) French Pokémon movies, over the original version of Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back. I can safety say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I still prefer those French movies (which, let's be honest, I still can't understand) over this, boring, elongated piece of utter rubbish.
I think my biggest grievance with this film is its plot, or, to put it bluntly, lack thereof. Unlike the brilliant Dragon Quest: Your Story, this film isn't fast because it has a lot to say and very little time to say it, quite the opposite. This film's events often feel as if they come so quickly, one after the other, because there's very little substance to be seen in-between each one. For example, in the beginning, Mewtwo is cloned and then escapes, he is subsequently hired, and then escapes. Then Ash beats a trainer, and then Mewtwo asks him to come to his castle. There's no time in-between big moments for the characters to develop or have fun little moments. In Dragon Quest: Your Story, and even Ni No Kuni to an extent, we get to see smaller, more intimate moments more frequently, but aside from a very (and I mean very) brief moment during the beginning of this film, there is no small moments. Everything is in service of the greater plot, so it all feels as if it's being rushed together.
The thing is though... this film is also super... super... super... su-su-s, sorry, did I drift off? It might be because this film is sooooooo slow, and soooooo boring. Every event is dragged out so much, that by the time it's finished I felt genuine relief, only to be punished again for my premature excitement. The only time I was left to sigh out of pure relief and enjoy it was when the credits rolled. It reminds me of shows like Power Rangers, or Huntik: Secrets & Seekers (which has a dope theme song, you should check it out). In those shows, it was guaranteed that in every single episode we would be treated to the exact same animation, or sequence of events, of characters getting ready, and each and every animation or sequence would drag on forever! You know the ones, where characters suit up for the big fight, or they release their monsters and each monster has its own animation. This movie is exactly like that; every single scene needs for you to see it from every character and Pokémon's perspective. And it's so infuriating, because all it serves to do is drag this 1hr and 37 minutes into what feels like an eternity.
This film has more problems than just its poor pacing; oh boy does it. For one the writing is terrible. There were so many lines I had to stop and jot down, just so I could include them in this review. Now, in the film's defence (maybe), I watched the Japanese version, so with English subtitles (this isn't my childhood after-all! I don't have, for no reason, DVDs in French without English subtitles!). It could be that the subtitles were bad, it could be... or it could be that the script sucks. Who's to know? Anyway, here are some of the lines I found particularly funny:
"listen to the harbour Wingull, but there's no need."
Brock says Pokémon can't be rushed, and then minutes later says: "Who didn't know you can't rush a Pokémon."
Mewtwo says, "Humans, I have no cause to harm you," and then proceeds to tell them to swim through a hurricane without their Pokémon.
Once the hurricane finally disappears, and the sun comes out, the harbormaster says "The ships can sail first thing tomorrow" despite it being perfectly acceptable weather conditions for them to sail right then and there.
They may seem inconsequential to you, and it may seem like I'm cherry picking, but I'm not joking when I say the dialogue in this movie is just nonsense drivel that leads nowhere. Take, for example, Mewtwo's opening lines. For the first ten minutes he just repeats the same questions over and over and over again. "Who am I?" "Where am I?" "What am I?" You get the idea. And again, on the surface it doesn't seem bad, but when that's all he says for so long, and when none of the questions really have answers anyway, and when it all leads to nothing, and when it all feels as if it's lacking any real substance, then it starts to grate. This whole movie is just that - characters just repeating lines but with slight variations on it. Towards the end (spoilers I guess) when the final climax comes around, all the characters start commenting on how clones and the real deal are both alive. It is not once brought into question whether or not clones were alive. I do not understand this at all. It's mentioned as if it's a source of conflict, as if that's why Mewtwo is so freaked out, but literally no one ever said they weren't. Is this a bad translation? Or is it just stupid? I'm inclined to believe it's the latter.
The animation for this movie, which is about the only thing that justifies this remake, is pretty good. Some of the earlier scenes, especially whenever the characters are in green environments, look incredible. But the film spends so much of its run-time in this boring, run of the mill, evil castle, that I started to feel as if this film's animation wasn't all that impressive. Fights are dull, with Mew and Mewtwo just bouncing into one another, and the other Pokémon doing what can only be described as kissing, hugging and nudging one another. As this film is predominantly about clones fighting the real version, you'd think the character designers would distinguish the clone versions and the real versions, right? Well, they kinda do. When the first clones are introduced (of which there are 3) they have markings to let you know they're the clones, but when all the others turn up, they don't have any markings. This might not sound like a problem, but when two of the exact same looking Pokémon are fighting one another, it's impossible to distinguish which is the real one (aka the one I'm supposed to be rooting for) and which is the clone. Honestly, this film just feels lazy.
I don't think it's a question of whether or not this film should have been remade. Frankly, I think it should be. I don't remember the original being all that great, and if it's anything like this one, then it certainly isn't. This animation style is nice, it's like Dragon Quest: Your Story, and the 3D aspect of it reminds me of the games it's based on, which is cool. But the story needed a huge upgrade, much like the visuals, and frankly the film fails to deliver on this aspect. After finishing the film, I still don't understand what Mewtwo's plan was. I don't understand his motivation, or really any of the character's motivations. Things just happen, and not a lot is really said other than pseudo-philosophical nonsense, and otherwise poorly written, often expositional, dialogue. If this film had more substance to it, bothered to add smaller, more intimate moments into its run-time, and offered a little more explanation during some of its longer, more drawn out scenes, then it may be enjoyable. But it doesn't, and as a result, it's a bad film. I think I'll let Mewtwo himself finish this review. Take it away bud.
"perhaps these events are best forgotten" ~ Mewtwo, 2019.
2/10
I think my biggest grievance with this film is its plot, or, to put it bluntly, lack thereof. Unlike the brilliant Dragon Quest: Your Story, this film isn't fast because it has a lot to say and very little time to say it, quite the opposite. This film's events often feel as if they come so quickly, one after the other, because there's very little substance to be seen in-between each one. For example, in the beginning, Mewtwo is cloned and then escapes, he is subsequently hired, and then escapes. Then Ash beats a trainer, and then Mewtwo asks him to come to his castle. There's no time in-between big moments for the characters to develop or have fun little moments. In Dragon Quest: Your Story, and even Ni No Kuni to an extent, we get to see smaller, more intimate moments more frequently, but aside from a very (and I mean very) brief moment during the beginning of this film, there is no small moments. Everything is in service of the greater plot, so it all feels as if it's being rushed together.
The thing is though... this film is also super... super... super... su-su-s, sorry, did I drift off? It might be because this film is sooooooo slow, and soooooo boring. Every event is dragged out so much, that by the time it's finished I felt genuine relief, only to be punished again for my premature excitement. The only time I was left to sigh out of pure relief and enjoy it was when the credits rolled. It reminds me of shows like Power Rangers, or Huntik: Secrets & Seekers (which has a dope theme song, you should check it out). In those shows, it was guaranteed that in every single episode we would be treated to the exact same animation, or sequence of events, of characters getting ready, and each and every animation or sequence would drag on forever! You know the ones, where characters suit up for the big fight, or they release their monsters and each monster has its own animation. This movie is exactly like that; every single scene needs for you to see it from every character and Pokémon's perspective. And it's so infuriating, because all it serves to do is drag this 1hr and 37 minutes into what feels like an eternity.
This film has more problems than just its poor pacing; oh boy does it. For one the writing is terrible. There were so many lines I had to stop and jot down, just so I could include them in this review. Now, in the film's defence (maybe), I watched the Japanese version, so with English subtitles (this isn't my childhood after-all! I don't have, for no reason, DVDs in French without English subtitles!). It could be that the subtitles were bad, it could be... or it could be that the script sucks. Who's to know? Anyway, here are some of the lines I found particularly funny:
"listen to the harbour Wingull, but there's no need."
Brock says Pokémon can't be rushed, and then minutes later says: "Who didn't know you can't rush a Pokémon."
Mewtwo says, "Humans, I have no cause to harm you," and then proceeds to tell them to swim through a hurricane without their Pokémon.
Once the hurricane finally disappears, and the sun comes out, the harbormaster says "The ships can sail first thing tomorrow" despite it being perfectly acceptable weather conditions for them to sail right then and there.
They may seem inconsequential to you, and it may seem like I'm cherry picking, but I'm not joking when I say the dialogue in this movie is just nonsense drivel that leads nowhere. Take, for example, Mewtwo's opening lines. For the first ten minutes he just repeats the same questions over and over and over again. "Who am I?" "Where am I?" "What am I?" You get the idea. And again, on the surface it doesn't seem bad, but when that's all he says for so long, and when none of the questions really have answers anyway, and when it all leads to nothing, and when it all feels as if it's lacking any real substance, then it starts to grate. This whole movie is just that - characters just repeating lines but with slight variations on it. Towards the end (spoilers I guess) when the final climax comes around, all the characters start commenting on how clones and the real deal are both alive. It is not once brought into question whether or not clones were alive. I do not understand this at all. It's mentioned as if it's a source of conflict, as if that's why Mewtwo is so freaked out, but literally no one ever said they weren't. Is this a bad translation? Or is it just stupid? I'm inclined to believe it's the latter.
The animation for this movie, which is about the only thing that justifies this remake, is pretty good. Some of the earlier scenes, especially whenever the characters are in green environments, look incredible. But the film spends so much of its run-time in this boring, run of the mill, evil castle, that I started to feel as if this film's animation wasn't all that impressive. Fights are dull, with Mew and Mewtwo just bouncing into one another, and the other Pokémon doing what can only be described as kissing, hugging and nudging one another. As this film is predominantly about clones fighting the real version, you'd think the character designers would distinguish the clone versions and the real versions, right? Well, they kinda do. When the first clones are introduced (of which there are 3) they have markings to let you know they're the clones, but when all the others turn up, they don't have any markings. This might not sound like a problem, but when two of the exact same looking Pokémon are fighting one another, it's impossible to distinguish which is the real one (aka the one I'm supposed to be rooting for) and which is the clone. Honestly, this film just feels lazy.
I don't think it's a question of whether or not this film should have been remade. Frankly, I think it should be. I don't remember the original being all that great, and if it's anything like this one, then it certainly isn't. This animation style is nice, it's like Dragon Quest: Your Story, and the 3D aspect of it reminds me of the games it's based on, which is cool. But the story needed a huge upgrade, much like the visuals, and frankly the film fails to deliver on this aspect. After finishing the film, I still don't understand what Mewtwo's plan was. I don't understand his motivation, or really any of the character's motivations. Things just happen, and not a lot is really said other than pseudo-philosophical nonsense, and otherwise poorly written, often expositional, dialogue. If this film had more substance to it, bothered to add smaller, more intimate moments into its run-time, and offered a little more explanation during some of its longer, more drawn out scenes, then it may be enjoyable. But it doesn't, and as a result, it's a bad film. I think I'll let Mewtwo himself finish this review. Take it away bud.
"perhaps these events are best forgotten" ~ Mewtwo, 2019.
2/10
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