Tom's Reviews

When I was a kid, we had this triple pack of Pokémon DVDs, which was great, because as a kid I loved  Pokémon . The catch was, and it was a pretty big catch, all three DVDs were in French, which would be no biggie if there were English subtitles - there weren't. The thing is, I distinctly remember enjoying the incomprehensible (as a kid I spoke and understood very little french) French  Pokémon movies, over the original version of  Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back . I can safety say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I still prefer those French movies (which, let's be honest, I still can't understand) over this, boring, elongated piece of utter rubbish. I think my biggest grievance with this film is its plot, or, to put it bluntly, lack thereof. Unlike the brilliant Dragon Quest: Your Story , this film isn't fast because it has a lot to say and very little time to say it, quite the opposite. This film's events often feel as if they come so quickly, one after the other...

I don't usually review short films on here. I have once, I reviewed I'm Here (Spike Jonze, Her ), with not much enthusiasm I must add. Today's short is The Captain by directors Nash Edgerton ( Gringo ) and Spencer Susser ( ARO: Cocaine Style ), and writers Nash Edgerton, Spencer Susser and Taika Waititi ( Jojo Rabbit ). It also stars Taika as the leading man, playing here a captain of a crashed plane who awakes amidst the destruction. Like I'm Here , I'm reviewing this dull short with little enthusiasm, so buckle up buttercup for a bitter review. You may have noticed that, for a six minute short, there's an awful lot of writers and directors behind it. It's not uncommon, sure, but what makes that fact more striking is the complete and utter lack of dialogue during the whole run-time. Even stranger yet, Taika is the only actor in the movie, save for some famous cameos (including Nash's famous brother Joel Edgerton, The King ) as corpses. I'd imagin...

Man was this film boring. A quarter of the way through I just went on my phone. I probably missed something important, but that's neither here nor there, because the final product is a meaningless movie that lacks the tension and thrills it so desires to aspire to. The Coldest Game (Lukasz Kosmicki, Ultraviolet ) stars Bill Pullman ( Dark Waters ) as the genius mathematician and chess player, Joshua Mansky, who gets embroiled in the very high stakes affair that was the Cuban Missile Crisis. Except from watching this drivel you'd hardly be able to tell. There's one key feature of a thriller that is so integral to it's success;have a guess as to what it is. I'll give you a clue, it's in the name. If you said thrills, boy are you as smart as old Mansky-poo over here. This film has an abundance of nothing, and a whole nothing of thrills. It struggles to give me even one reason to care, at all, about anything that's going on. It's not shot well, it's...

I wasn't too pleased with my Ni No Kuni   (Yoshiyuki Momose, Modest Heroes ) review. I had so much I wanted to say, and in an effort to condense my thoughts into a readable review, I ended up with a bog-standard one. I don't want to make the same mistakes with this review, because I genuinely loved Dragon Quest: Your Story (Takashi Yamazaki, Lupin III: The First ), and I really want to share with you why. When I first heard this was coming to Netflix, I have to be honest with you, I was giddy. I watched the first few seconds of the trailer, heard the Dragon Quest theme song, and switched it off. I would wait, I told myself. Not too long now. And boy was the wait worth it! This movie isn't perfect, and I'll explain why; throughout its 1hr 42 minute run-time I went between a 6/10 to a 7/10 and I think I finally ended on an 8. I think this film takes some getting used to, an appreciation of the source material, and most of all a love for all things JRPG. But I'll ...

Awww man. I really wanted to like this film. Like really wanted to like it. I'm not a huge fan of the games, and by that I mean I've never played them. The only thing I know about them is the brief period in which my sister played the second one, and the incessant use of the theme song. Boy did they play it over and over again. That tune is ingrained in my mind. It's so annoying, I'd probably lash out at anyone who played it. I'm not kidding. Play it. I dare you. Anywho... I started this movie with high hopes. It's directed by the key animator of Spirited Away (Hayao Miyazaki, The Wind Rises ) Yoshiyuki Momose, who also happened to work on Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom , the latest game in the Ni no Kuni franchise. It's styled like the Ghibli films of yonder, and its set in a lush high fantasy world akin to Sword Art Online's first arc. So, suffice to say it's jammed packed with things I love about anime. I was very excited to say the least. ...